When the digital issue of Glamour UK featured a pregnant man on the cover, there were many controversial comments about it. We became interested in the story of Logan Brown, who became a happy father with his partner and is now raising their daughter.
He suffered a lot from gender dysphoria.
Logan says that when he was younger he would find himself trying to hide his body by wearing boy’s clothes only to take them off out of embarrassment. “It was really hard to go through that all the time and not speak to anyone about it. There was no information out there for me to relate to. I didn’t realize that being trans is who I am. I had really bad mental health growing up. I was constantly in therapy. When I was 13, I actually came out as lesbian — and I feel like that was more to do with how I dressed. Because I dressed like a ‘tomboy’, people would tell me I was a lesbian.”
He explains that gender and sexuality are two completely different things, and he has come to that realization as years have gone by. Before transitioning, he had been in a few relationships with women, until he decided to focus on himself.
His partner is a non-binary drag queen from London.
Bailey Mills is Logan’s partner, and they first met about two years ago. “I came across some of their videos, and I thought, ‘Who is that?’ I felt like I could relate to them, being the misfit all the time. And then I saw a more vulnerable video of them, and that’s when I thought, ‘They’re a bit of me.’ I thought they were very cute. I literally just reached out to them and said, ‘You’re really cute,’ and then we went on a date. It was not a usual date; it was just chaos. I’m obsessed with them.”
And then came the pregnancy.
One morning, Logan woke up and felt weird, and he decided to take a pregnancy test. He had stopped taking testosterone for a while due to some health issues and to his surprise the test came out positive. Initially he was terrified and felt that all his manlihood had been erased. He woke up his partner and told him about the pregnancy.
“Eventually, I told them, ‘I’m pregnant,’ and I had a moment thinking, ‘This is alright’ — and then went into, ‘Oh, no, this isn’t good. What about my career? You’re… you’re a pregnant man!’ And we were both just doing that back and forth constantly of, ‘Oh, my God.’ And we just didn’t speak for two hours. After that, we had a bit of a chat, but the reaction was mixed emotions for both of us. It felt like it was all on me, in a way, because it’s my body. I felt an ownership.”
“I had to get to the point of being confident with who I am and being a pregnant man. I’ve started educating people on it. I realised I didn’t want the thought of having to get rid of the baby when it was happening inside my body; it was a really, really weird feeling. And I kind of got connected to that, and I was like, ‘I’m never gonna get this opportunity again’ to — as a queer couple — have a baby that’s biologically both ours. Which is really special to me, and eventually, something just clicked.
I spent so much time feeling shame and being hard on myself until I thought, ‘You can enjoy this process or make it really difficult for yourself.’ I’m a pregnant man, and we’re very lucky, and I’m proud to do what we’re doing.’’
Going at hospitals was a very difficult experience for him.
“My appointments were positive in the early stages, at smaller clinics, and I had the same midwife all the time, which was really important. But we recently moved houses and I had to change hospitals — and it’s a much bigger hospital, and I’ve not had the best experience. I’ve been misgendered by staff and no one’s actually turned around to me and said, ’Are you OK?’”
Logan believes that hospital staff should get LGBTQ+ training so that they know how to talk to people. More cases like his have existed and continue to appear every single day, so people working in the healthcare industry should be aware of them, according to him. “I’m a pregnant trans man and I do exist. No matter what anyone says, I’m living proof.”
He gave birth to a baby girl.
Logan’s water remained broken for over 24 hours and stayed induced for 3 days due to some complications with the baby’s growth. “When I eventually went into labor, it was great because they really accommodated our needs. They made the lights dim for Bailey and me because of our ADHD and autism. We had a playlist and I then went through every procedure you could imagine.”
He continues, “However, then we both got an infection because of the waters being open for 24 hours, and we were then in hospital for a week. So, I felt a bit disconnected, and Bails had to look after her initially. But it was great, because we had the support of the midwives at the hospital, and all the things we had to learn, we learned at the hospital.”
«I feel like I’ve only just got out of a dream that I’ve been in the past few days… I just look at her and think, ‘Wow, you are really precious.’ I thought I was so organised, but nothing could fully prepare me for it all. Some of it, I expected to be hard, but what a massive achievement; we’re really, really lucky,» he said.
The case of Logan is rare but not unique. We have previously written about another transgender man who discovered his pregnancy during his transition.
Source: thanhcat.com
