A Reddit user opened up about some life-changing experiences he endured. But after surviving a life-threatening disease, he did not think he would face the reality of losing the one constant thing in his life.
A married man who battled a disease that changed his life completely was grateful to still have his wife despite losing many of his abilities. But he found himself facing one of his biggest fears.
The Redditor posted under the “Off My Chest” sub, to speak his mind and unleash his emotional baggage, saying, “I’m going to make myself the villain,” after he realized how his wife genuinely felt for him behind his back.
The Original Poster (OP) had lost nearly ten years of his life battling a severe degenerative disease. His career, house, pride, and everything else that put a smile on his face were replaced with pain, surgeries, medicines, and a wheelchair.
OP said he could walk no more than 20 feet and couldn’t carry anything over a few pounds. For the past ten years, he’d lost most of the fun things he recalled doing. Amid his struggles, the one thing OP felt he’d never lost was love.
The Redditor’s wife always walked the extra mile to support him. Although OP appreciated her efforts, he often told her to let him know if anything she did for him was too much. But since she never brought up anything related, OP assumed she had no issues at all.
One day, OP was trying to put on his shoes in the hallway when he overheard his wife talking to her friend. For some reason, he said she must have thought he’d already left to pick up their son from his Airsoft practice.
He heard his wife say that she was tired of being his babysitter, and then she went on and on about how exhausted she was helping him do things due to his inabilities. OP was stunned and kept listening in awe. In a split second, he overheard another genuine confession from her that completely broke his heart.
The wife admitted, “I’d give anything to be able to have sex with a real man again.” But never tried, only because she didn’t want to be blamed for leaving her sick husband. Her words shattered the OP. “A real man? What does that make me?” he painfully reflected.
OP said he’d always known his wife’s frustrations and annoyance towards him but never realized she’d been thinking so low of him. Inconsolably hurt, he walked into the kitchen and purposely dropped his tumbler to announce his presence.
At this point, OP’s wife realized he was home and rushed to check on him. He lied to her about returning to take his water bottle and decided to battle his worst emotions alone.
After deep thought, he decided to make it easy on his wife. So that nobody would blame her for leaving him, he would portray himself as the bad guy. He planned to tell his wife about a make-believe affair with another woman so she would get the happiness she sought.
But after reading his plight, people advised him not to rush since his wife could’ve just been venting her frustrations. “I will also add that the way she was feeling in that moment doesn’t necessarily mean it’s her “true” feelings,” wrote another Reddit user, explaining how everyone has unpleasant feelings and fleeting thoughts when upset or frustrated.
The person further added, “While hurtful, I don’t think she necessarily has been pining away for you to disappear just because she’s venting to her best friend.”
Another commenter agreed and shared how their mother would often rant about their terminally ill father by saying things similar to what OP’s wife said. “…but in the end, she’s just venting. She loves my father with all her heart…We all vent about our loved ones at some point, but we still love them,” the person explained.
Ultimately, OP was determined to see his wife happy and help her get everything he couldn’t give her. He knew his fabricated affair would hurt her but it would also set her free from judgment from other people. “She’ll be free from guilt…She will be free…from me,” he painfully asserted.